Cooking Lessons

Let's face it, my kids are getting older.  They're growing up fast (too fast).  They'll be leaving the nest soon to fly off on their own. 

One of the things I'd like my children to leave home with is a knowledge and the ability to be able to cook.  This is kind of important because

You have to eat to live!

Yes, they could just eat out, but eating out is not only expensive, it's also unhealthy - all that saturated fat and huge portion sizes. . .yada yada yada.  

I want my kids to have the cooking skills and food knowledge to be able to feed their future family a well balanced meal, save money, and most importantly, enjoy doing it!

 I started out when my kids were young.

The first thing I did, was let them help me cook.  Yes this takes time and patience - lots and lots of patience.

Even really young kids can help.  I started out by letting them add ingredients. 

Then as they get a little older and stronger I let them stir, and then crack the eggs.

When they learn to read, I'll have them read the recipe out loud to me as we cook. This helps them learn how to read a recipe and measure the ingredients correctly.

When they are mature enough, they learn how to use the stove and oven and proper stove top/oven safety.

 Then they graduate into making a recipe all by themselves.  Of course I'm standing by to help where and if needed.

Eventually they learn several recipes they can make themselves.

Most of my kids know how to bake, after all, dessert is the most important part of the meal. They each have their own signature dessert they are "famous" for in our house.

Now that they're getting older (my oldest will graduate high school next year - help!), I want to make sure they know how to cook a healthy complete meal (not just dessert).  To do this, I had each of my kids choose 4 of their favorite things to eat for dinner.  I plugged them into my monthly meal schedule.  On the night we eat one of their favorite meals, they help me prepare and cook it.  (NOTE: 4 was a little ambitious, next month I will probably have them make a list of their favorites and then schedule in only two per child per month).  

 Here I am with #3.  We're making Chicken Cordon Bleu.  

With each meal I'm not only able to teach them how to make that dish, but also other cooking skills they will be able to use again and again.
For instance, with this meal, #3 learned all about making a roux for the sauce, how to properly handle raw chicken, how to make bread crumbs, and how to steam a vegetable, just to name a few.

The thing I love the most is that I get to spend one on one time with each of my kids- talking and laughing together while we cook.

It also doesn't hurt that they're also in charge of doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen.

Part 5 of HELPING CHILDREN BECOME INDEPENDENT

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5.  ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO HAVE HEARTACHE AND SETBACKS.

When my #3 was in 2nd grade, he has some serious problems with his teacher and his classmates.  He cried everyday, and he even ran home during the middle of school a few times.  He was miserable.  I was made at his teacher for letting this happen.  I went in to talk to the principal.  I was ready to demand he switch classes, or even pull him out of school all together.  Thank goodness the principal was a wise man.  He told me that my child will have to deal with/work with lots people throughout his life, and he's not always going to get along with everyone.  He suggested I use this situation as a teaching moment.  AH HA! 

"Help your children to see that they can develop creative solutions for their problems instead of ignoring or avoiding them (or pulling them out of them).  Good parenting sometimes means allowing our children to fail and deal with some heartbreaking experiences."

It breaks my heart to see my kids have to go through heartaches, but I try to step back and let them work it by themselves.  Of course, I'm always there for them if they want to talk, get advice, etc. 

President Monson reminds us that, "life was never intended to consist of a glut of luxury, be an easy course, or filled only with success.  There are those games which we finish last, and those promotions which never come.  Such experiences provide an opportunity for us to show our determination and to rise above disappointment."

And yes, I kept #3 in his class and he learned to work through it and hasn't had any problems with teachers/classmates since.

HELPING CHILDREN BECOME INDEPENDENT -PART 4

I will be posting both parts 4 and 5 today. . . .

4. STAND UP AND BE COURAGEOUS

and speaking of courageous, have you seen the movie?  It's well worth the $1 Redbox fee (my husband even cried through some parts of it!) 
The following is a quote from the movie Courageous 

 "I don't want to be a 'good enough' father. We have a few short years to influence our kids. Whatever patterns we set for them in life will be used for their kids, and the generation after that. We have the responsibility to mold a life. And I don't think that should be done casually. Half the fathers in this country are already failing, and I don't want to be one of them. I'm talking about setting the standards that they need to aim for in life."  

Elder Larry R. Lawrence in the October 2010 General Conference spoke about the need for Courageous parenting.  He explained that parents need to be more concerned with following the Lord than pacifying their children. . .

"What the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand." 

TAKE A STAND.  Stand up to your children.  "Parents today may feel more peer pressure as adults than they ever did as youth.  Children are often quick to point out what 'other parents' allow their children to do.  Teens may (DO) challenge their parents on any number of issues.  Many parents cave in to their children's wishes, so those who stand up for the right and follow prophetic counsel may find themselves in the minority."

Children grow up so fast.  The time we have to teach our children is so short.  Stick to the standards you want your children to follow.

How do you courageously deal with 'Peer Pressure' from your children? 

Helping Children Become Independent- Part 3

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This is part 3 out of 5 if you missed part 1 and 2 you can find them here and here. 

3. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES

"Children need to understand that they cannot simply do whatever they want and then have things work out exactly how they want."

As a parent, you do not want any of your children to experience pain in any form.  We try to protect them from it.  I think many of us as parents try to save our children from having to experience the pain and sorrow that comes from making wrong choices.  We try to cushion the blow, so to speak.  We may be able to do this with temporal laws, but we will not be able to help them when it comes to spiritual laws. 

"If we attempt to mitigate or ease the consequences of our children's choices, our children may have a difficult time understanding and following divine laws."

So what is the best way to teach our children that choices have consequences?

"Consider giving clear communication about rules in your home and what will happen if those rules are disobeyed---and then consistently follow through with the consequences when necessary".

It's not always easy for me to discipline my children when they break the rules.  I don't want to be the bad guy!  They'll get mad at me!!!   BUT I have to constantly tell myself, it's for their own good. . .Heavenly Father sticks to His rules and consequences and so must you!  They'll be glad you did.

What do you think?  How do you teach your children that choices have consequences?  What are some of your family rules and the consequences for breaking or keeping those rules?

Helping Children Become Independent -part 2

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2. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK

This is a hard one for me.  I don't have a good work ethnic, and with my health problems on top of that. . .well, let's just say Hard Work is not my favorite.  In the Ensign article it states

"Children who learn to work enjoy high levels of self-esteem and confidence. . .Work builds and refines character and creates beauty."

Want happy beautiful children?  Teach them to work.  I'm lucky that my husband came from a family where he learned the value of hard work.  He can really get my kids to work.  So how do we do WORK in our family?  Each child has chores they have to do before they're allowed to play with friends, or on the computer, etc.  It's usually to clean their room, and then a random chore that I need help with that particular day.  I try to make work a game for the little ones.  Setting the timer before picking up a room to see if we can beat the clock, and other silly games like that.

We also make all of our kids work for their spending money.  We do not give an allowance, so if they want something extra (cell phone, new outfit, movie ticket, toy, etc), they work for pay.  The older kids will baby-sit family and neighbor, and the younger ones will do extra chores.  We hope that this is teaching them the importance and value of work and money.  And one day they will be able to provide for and sustain a family of their own.  (We do eventually want them out of the house!)

Ok, it's your turn.  How do you teach and get your children to work? 

Interested in more of this topic? Check out this Book!!! and this list from the book.

Come back for Part 3 Tomorrow!

Helping Children Become Independent- part 1

I saw this sign on Pinterest.  In this months Ensign magazine there is an article exactly about this, Helicopter Parenting.  What is that you ask?  Well Helicopter Parenting is hovering over your children and being so involved that your children can't function or make decisions for themselves.  It's cushioning our children's lives making sure their problems are solved and that pain and consequences from choices are minimized. 

"This parenting style competes with the gospel teaching that during our mortal probation we will and must face trials, heartaches, and struggles.  Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained that 'life never was intended to be easy.  It is a probationary estate in which we are tested physically, mentally, morally, and spiritually'."

The article then lists 5 suggestions to protecting our children from harm without becoming Helicopter Parents. 

1. Look for opportunities to allow your children to do things for themselves, even if it means more work for you.

I once had dinner with a family whose 10 year old son still asked his mom to butter his roll.  I've also heard of many missionaries who get out into the field not knowing how to fix a bike tire, or even fill up the car with gas, because their dad always did it for them. 

There have been many times that my children have wanted to try to do something around the house, and I've been hesitant to let them because all I can think about it the mess that will be left for me to clean up after their done.  For example, my 3-year old loves and always wants to Windex the mirrors and glass door.  When she's finished there is always a whole roll of dirty paper towels strung around the house, mirrors with spots, a door with fresh little finger marks on it, and let me not forget to mention the Windex that is all over everything because she thinks a whole bottle-worth of squirts is needed to clean one small 12 x12" mirror.   I've had to learn to let my OCD-ness go.  Things don't have to always be Martha Stewart perfect. 

"Allowing and even expecting children to do things on their own prepares them to live independently in the future.  Parents should try not to do things for their children that they can do themselves.  President Boyd K. Packer has written, 'I think one of the major mistakes in teaching children, is the tendency for parents to be bothered when children want to participate and learn something'."

COME BACK MONDAY AS WE DISCUSS #2- Teach your children to work.

How about you?  How do you allow your children to do things for themselves, even if it means more work for you?  Please leave a comment.  I'd love to hear your ideas and experiences.